by Nate Goodson Coaching
Welcome to Freedom
True freedom is the power to become who you were born to be—the power to live in alignment with your true identity and deepest values.Self-Mastery Saints is a place where you can gain power to overcome unwanted habits and become your best self.Rooted in the teachings of the restored Gospel and supported by the science of psychology, this Christ-centered coaching program makes deep, lasting transformation possible.I’m glad you’re here. Let’s begin the journey.
© Nate Goodson. All rights reserved.
Why we get stuck:
Your Brain Is Awesome (and a Bit Tricky)
Your brain is designed to keep you safe. Most of the time, it does this without you even realizing it—subconsciously. It interprets pain and discomfort as danger—something to avoid—and pleasure as safety and survival—something to seek out.
The Problem of False Pleasures
This system works well most of the time. But in today’s world, where cheap, easy pleasure is everywhere, your brain can get tricked. Whether it’s a Twinkie, one more episode in a Netflix binge, or scrolling to see another reel, your brain get's a quick hit of pleasure making it think it's getting something essential, like safety, nourishment, or connection.
In reality, it’s empty calories — false and fleeting pleasures - leaving you feeling more empty and unfulfilled in the end.
How We Get in a Habit Loop
Here's the problem: part of your brain doesn’t understand it’s being tricked. It just knows it found a fast way to feel good, so it pushes you to do it again—this push is especially powerful if there is something painful or scary your brain is trying to escape from like anxiety, fear, or shame. Of course this escape doesn't solve the anxiety, fear, or shame but instead leads to more of it. And so a vicious cycle can start. It feels impossible to stop because part of your brain truly believes the habit is necessary for survival.
You’re Not Broken
If you find yourself stuck in an unhealthy habit, it’s not because you’re a failure, broken, or a bad person. It’s because you're a human experiencing some of the normal challenges of a human brain and body.
Is There a Way Out?
The great news? It is 100% possible to change this cycle. I can help you retrain your brain and regain self-mastery.
That’s what we do here at Self-Mastery Saints.
Want to understand more about why you do the things you do—and how to change?
Click here:
Ready to Rewire Your Brain and Transform Your Life? Let's talk.
Who is Nate Goodson?
CREDENTIALS :
Master's degree in psychology with an emphasis in life coaching.
Worked in mental and behavioral health treatment centers.
Full-time religious educator for 7+ years.
MY STORY :
I spent years frustrated, wondering why I couldn't get myself to stop repeating the same stupid habits, and just be the version of myself I was born to be. I kept beating myself up, thinking that maybe I just needed to try harder - but the more I pushed, the more impossible change seemed to be.
It was a long journey, but in God's mercy I gradually began to understand the root of these patterns— and, more importantly, how to change them. My studies in psychology and the Gospel of Jesus Christ gave me the insight and tools I needed to find real freedom.
Now, I help others do the same. I love guiding people out of shame and frustration and helping them find freedom from their old habits. I want to help you find the greater joy that comes with greater self-mastery. Book a session and lets talk!
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The C.U.T.F.A.R. Process:
What's driving your habits—and how to change them for good.
Unwanted habits like procrastination or screen addiction are symptoms of a deeper pattern. The C.U.T.F.A.R. model helps you see the sequence behind your habits so you can break the cycle and create lasting change.C.U.T.F.A.R. :
- Circumstances
- Underlying Beliefs
- Thoughts
- Feelings
- Actions
- ResultsClick the buttons below to explore how it works:
Circumstances are the objective facts of a situation—"My phone buzzed," "I have a report due tomorrow," or "They haven’t messaged me back." These are the raw materials of life. You’ve heard the saying that “life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it”? Circumstances is the 10%.
It can be tricky at first to learn to recognize the line between the facts of the circumstance and our thoughts about the circumstance. We may think that we are just seeing things as they are, but learning to recognize and question our own meaning making can be a critical first step to change.
Our core beliefs about ourselves, others, the world, and God quietly shape how we see and respond to life. These beliefs often sound like:
- "I’m not good enough."
- "I’ll be rejected if I fail."
- “My worth as a person depends on my performance.”
- "I’m only safe if everything is going as expected.”
We are usually not fully aware of most of our underlying beliefs - they are formed subconsciously starting very early in life —through family dynamics, cultural messages, or painful experiences. But they can be uncovered and intentionally reshaped.
There are two types of beliefs:
- Explicit beliefs – What we want to believe or consciously agree with.
- Operational beliefs – These are the ones we tend to be much less conscious of and these are the ones what have the biggest impact on our perception, our emotional reactions, and our behaviors.
Someone might intellectually recognize the truth that “my worth isn’t based on achievement,” but still, on a deeper level, still believe that if they fail they are less worthy of love and acceptance and so they feel high anxiety and shame at the idea of failing. That’s the operational belief at work. Change begins when we bring these beliefs into awareness and analyze them.
Underlying beliefs that keep us from being our best version of ourselves are usually some form of these two:
- I am not going to BE enough
- I am not going to HAVE enough
Underlying beliefs are the lens that all our life experience is filtered through. They directly shape next part of the model, our thoughts.
Thoughts are your mind’s interpretation of the circumstance, shaped and colored by your underling beliefs. They are the stories that we create from the circumstances. Our minds create them largely automatically and subconsciously.
- Circumstance: "Report due tomorrow."
Thought: “Oh no! I need to get this done right and I don’t know what to do! I’m such an idiot for putting this off. Now they will find out I am such a failure.” - Circumstance: "No reply to my message."
Thought: "They probably don’t want to talk to me. Everyone probably just finds me annoying.”
Because we can always find plenty of evidence to back up our interpretations, these stories can seem like concrete truth, but they’re often habitual patterns of meaning-making. Becoming aware of your thoughts—and learning to question and examine them—can reduce the emotional intensity and help create space for changes in thinking which will in turn bring changes to your feelings and actions. Noticing your thoughts and being intentional about what thoughts you choose the most powerful way to exercise your personal agency. Many people try to change their actions, but fail to maintain those changes because they have not learned how to change their thoughts.
The powerful impact of our thoughts travel in two directions: upstream to our beliefs and downstream to our feelings.
- Upstream: While our beliefs are the greatest influence on our thoughts, our most repeated thought patterns also shape our beliefs. This is great news because it means we can intentionally shape our beliefs by conscientiously choosing our thoughts.
- Downstream: Our thoughts are the main determinate on our emotional experience which takes us to the next part of the process leading toward our actions.
Feelings are your emotional reactions to your thoughts—such as anxiety, shame, joy, or calm. Feelings arise as a result of your interpretations, and they can strongly influence your actions and results.
The goal is not to eliminate negative feelings but to learn how to respond to them skillfully.
Your actions often become habits—automatic responses you fall into when experiencing certain feelings and thoughts. For example, if you feel anxious about a task, you might procrastinate by scrolling on your phone.
Learning to notice your habitual actions, pause, and make conscious choices can gradually change these patterns. Actions have a powerful influence both upstream (reinforcing your feelings and thoughts) and downstream (creating your results).
In the CUTFAR model, actions have a powerful impact traveling upstream and downstream. They reinforce your feelings and thoughts through neural pathways (so repeated actions literally wire your brain to respond a certain way). Downstream, your actions create your results.
Understanding this process gives you a powerful place to intervene. By changing your actions, you can shape new feelings and thoughts over time. This is the basis of behavioral change strategies and habit formation.
Results are the outcomes and consequences of your actions.
Results will usually be a reflection of the belief that the process started with. For example, you may find a result of less close relationships in your life when your CUTFAR process starts with a belief like “I will always end up alone.”
Many coaches and counselors will focus on one part of the process or another, but for deep and lasting positive change, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions all need to be addressed.In Self-Mastery Saints, with the help of a professional coach, you gain the tools to transform the whole process - leading to the best version of you and the best version of your life.
What doesn't work
1. Beating yourself up, adding more pressure, or shaming yourself.
- This doesn’t solve the problem—it makes it worse. If you’ve looked at the C.U.T.F.A.R. process, you know our feelings drive our actions. The habits you’re trying to change are often ways your subconscious mind is trying to escape shame, anxiety, or fear. Being hard on yourself might feel productive short-term, but it actually gets in the way of long-term change.
2. Filters, blockers, screen-time limits by themselves
- Like a bandaid, these tools can be useful in their time and place, but they don't address the deeper causes of the issue.
3. Assuming things will get better on their own.
- Things aren't going to change for the better by closing your eyes and pretending the problem isn't there, or by just hoping it goes away on it's own. Avoidance will just make things worse.
What does work
1. Greater Self-Compassion
- It may sound counterintuitive, but self-compassion fuels self-improvement. When you stop running from your human imperfections and meet them instead with kindness and curiousity, you create space for true self-awareness and growth. Instead of demanding complete perfection today, self-compassion frees you to start growing from where you are right now. Self-condemnation kills growth; self-compassion fuels growth.
2. Small and Simple Steps
- You’ve probably tried the do-it-all-now approach—big goals, big changes, and then burnout. The real secret to lasting change? Small, consistent steps."By small and simple things are great things brought to pass".Try asking yourself, "What is the smallest, most simple step I could take that would move me in the right direction?" Practicing consistency with just one or two small changes over time leads to greater transformation than trying to do it all right now.
3. Teaming Up with a High Quality Coach
- Trying to make these changes all alone is a sure way to limit your progress and slow your growth. A good coach will help you see what you can’t see, accelerate your growth, support you through real change, and keep you moving forward. Don't spend years stuck spinning, trying to figure this out on your own.The worlds best athletes work with coaches to reach their full potential. Using a coach doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re wise.If your coach understands both the psychology of habit change and the deeper spiritual truths that drive it all, the transformation can be profound.If you're looking for a coach like that, you're in the right place. I might be biased—but I believe I can help you. Click that green button and let’s get started.
why christ-centered coaching?
When Jesus Christ testified "I am the way, the truth, and the life", He wasn’t speaking in poetic hyperbole. Connecting with Christ and following His teachings really is the way to become your highest, truest self - with joy, wisdom, and self-mastery.
“Whatever questions or problems you have, the answer is always found in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. ... Turn to Him!”
- President Russell M. Nelson
But...
You might be thinking: “I’m already an active, believing member of the Church. I read my scriptures, I pray... If the gospel holds the answers, why am I still struggling so much?”
Two common reasons this happens:
1. Surface Beliefs vs. Deep Operational Beliefs
There is often a gap between what we intellectually know is true and what we actually do. To close that gap, we need to allow God to take gospel truths deeper into our hearts — where they can reshape the underlying beliefs that truly drive our actions.As your coach, I can help you uncover which hidden or conflicting beliefs are holding you back — and how to align them more fully with truth.
2 - Partial Truths Weaponized Against Us
Satan loves to take part of the truth, disconnect it from the bigger picture, and twist it to use it against us (Matt 4:2-11).
An example of a common way he does this:
Partial truth: I am a child of God and Jesus wants me to become like Him.False conclusion: Therefore I should not make mistakes or struggle with weakness. But I do - so I am a failure!!
More complete truth: I am a child of God. Jesus does want me to become like Him. But I’m also mortal, living in a fallen world with a human brain and body.More accurate conclusion: Struggling is part of the plan. It doesn’t mean I’ve failed — it means I’m still in the process of learning, growing, and being refined. That's where I am supposed to be right now. Jesus Christ can use these very struggles to strengthen and sanctify me. (See Ether 12:27; 2 Corinthians 12:7–10.)
Jesus Christ can help us.
When our underlying beliefs are aligned with complete gospel truth, we experience more hope, confidence, love, and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7). If you're feeling a lot of shame, fear, discouragement, or resentment, and you are struggling to control your actions, chances are you're operating on some misapplied or incomplete beliefs.This doesn't mean you are bad or broken — these kinds of distortions can happen to highly faithful and intelligent people. But the Savior can help us. One way He helps us is by putting others in our life who can bring more complete light and truth into our thoughts and beliefs.As a Christ-centered coach, I can help you recognize and replace these subtle but powerful distortions — so you can step more fully into the light, joy, and strength that Jesus Christ offers you.